What to Expect
Coming to something new can feel uncertain, especially when it involves your family. This page explains what usually happens, so you know what to expect before you decide.
Before you come
You don’t need any preparation, and you don’t need to know anything about Family Constellations. If you’d like to think ahead, you might ask yourself what you’d like to look at, but it’s fine to arrive without a topic. You can also simply take part and see what the day brings.
If you have questions, or aren’t sure whether this is right for you, get in touch for a short, no-obligation conversation.
In a Group Workshop
The setting. Small, intimate groups of around 10 people, seated in a circle in a relaxed and safe setting. We take breaks when needed.
How it works. Someone who’d like to explore a question talks it through with me first. This helps us find a starting point and any outcome they’re hoping for. The conversation can happen in the group, or beforehand if some of the information is too sensitive to share with others. Other participants are then chosen to stand in for members of the family or system, and they place themselves in the room. From there, we look at what the arrangement shows, and I guide the process step by step.
Depending on the structure of the workshop and how long each constellation takes, more than one person can work on their own question. Not everyone who brings a question will have a turn, and representing for others is often just as valuable.
Your choices. You can bring a question, take part as a representative in someone else’s process, or simply observe. Nobody is required to share anything or to take part in any part they don’t want to. If anything feels like too much, let me know and we’ll pause or find the support you need.
What it feels like. As representatives, people often report physical sensations, emotions, impulses to move, and reactions to the other representatives. Sometimes a word or sentence comes up. Experiences vary from person to person, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it.
In a One-on-One Session
A one-on-one session is quieter and more private. We talk briefly about what you’d like to explore, and then look at it together, using small objects, placeholders or sketches. Sessions run for 60 to 90 minutes. Online sessions by video call are possible by arrangement.
What to bring and wear
Comfortable, layered clothing that allows you to move freely.
We work barefoot or in socks, so please take your shoes off at the door. People sometimes sit or lie on the floor, and this keeps the space clean.
Please bring a blanket, shawl, jacket, hot-water bottle, or whatever you use to regulate your body temperature, as well as your own water bottle.
After the session
It’s common to feel thoughtful or tired, or to find that things stay with you for a few days. Give yourself some quiet time afterwards if you can, and avoid making big decisions straight away.
‘I recommend a 2 week period of quiet reflection to give new information time to settle and lets your own sense of what it means develop without being coloured by other people’s opinions. If something stays unsettled during that time, you’re welcome to get in touch with me. If you’re supported by a doctor or therapist, it’s fine to talk to them, and it can help to mention what you explored.
Confidentiality, Safety and Respect
What’s shared in a session stays within the group and isn’t repeated outside it. Please, no photos or recordings.
We look after ourselves and each other by conducting ourselves in a safe and respectful way, no matter what arises. This includes arriving on time, staying for the whole workshop, and letting me know as early as you can if you’re unable to come. Workshops depend on enough people being there, and a last-minute cancellation can affect whether one goes ahead.
What questions can I bring to explore?
People bring a wide range of questions. Some examples:
- Unresolved family conflict, grief or loss
- Relationship difficulties (family, partner, friendships)
- Patterns that keep repeating in your life or relationships
- Feelings that keep returning, such as guilt or heaviness, that seem to have no clear source
- Feeling disconnected, stuck, or weighed down without knowing why
- Work and career blocks
- Questions about identity, belonging or purpose
You don’t need a clear question to come. If you can only say that something feels off, that is enough to begin with. Family Constellations is not a treatment for anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions, and it doesn’t replace professional care. If you’re unsure whether it suits you, get in touch for a short conversation first.
Do I need to know a lot about my family?
No. The work doesn’t depend on detailed family knowledge, and gaps, secrets or unknowns are common.
What if I'm estranged from my family, or they have passed away?
That’s fine. People often come with questions about relationships that are strained, lost or unfinished.
Do I have to talk about painful things?
You decide how much to share. You can say very little and still take part.
Does what comes up show what really happened in my family?
The process is intended to offer insights and perspectives, but it should not be used as empirical proof of any kind. What comes up is something to reflect on, not evidence of what happened.
Is this therapy?
No. Family Constellations is a reflective, experiential approach. It doesn’t replace psychotherapy, counselling or medical care. If you are in crisis or being treated for a mental health condition, please speak to your doctor or therapist before attending, and feel free to talk it through with me first.
What does it cost?
Please contact me for current costs.
How do I book?
Phone, WhatsApp or email me.